He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
