He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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