Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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