i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
