it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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