oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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