Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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