omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
