Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
