dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
