I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
