Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
