i jhust puked up my retainher.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
