That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
