i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
