I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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