Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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