I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
