I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
