Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
