well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
