I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's blow job season.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
