Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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