If that was your dad, he is hot
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
