I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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