But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
