Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
