You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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