when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
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