so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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