just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
