Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
