when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
