i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
