normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
