we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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