I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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