I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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