no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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