i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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