i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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