we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
