i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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