the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
