Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
