Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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