He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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