Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
