U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
