Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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