Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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